Christian Living
Rita has been married for 17 years with 2 teenage children.
The last 5 years have been anything but beautiful for her. Her husband James has been abusive (physically and verbally), he stopped her from working, he wouldn’t do any work himself either. How do they eat? Family, friends, any form of goodwill. James claims he has a call from God and spends most of his time chasing people around to sow seed into his life.
Rita had tried many times to leave her marriage but he wouldn’t let her. She didn’t know what to do. Life hasn’t been fair to her neither has God.
Then someone directed Rita to our online counselling group, Talk with Grace Obomanu (TWGO). Rita’s story began to change from then.
A look at James’s family history revealed that his father was exactly as he is. He was abusive, lazy and irresponsible. So obviously James’s problem was more complicated than it seemed, it had familial roots. This makes Rita’s case even more difficult, but God has a way.
James needs to make a total mind and behavior change. But how do we reach him considering it’s Rita coming for help?
Rita would have to make a decision at this point about her marriage, to leave or to stay.
While leaving may seem the easier and more attractive option, Rita didn’t want her children growing up without their father.
Staying meant she needed to do more work, on herself as well as for James.
First she must identify the things she does that upset him at least to forestall further physical abuse. She must identify her weaknesses and strengths as well as James’s. With a personality like James’ it can be trouble flagging his weaknesses, at least not at him. To get him to be more productive, his strengths have to be accentuated and he needs to be regularly reminded of them. That’s exactly what Rita did. She also moved back into the bedroom she once shared with her husband. Additionally, she resumed her wifely duties (not doing it for James but as unto The Lord). She located her Bible wherever she tossed it. She must rebuild her relationship with God and trust Him to fix her marriage.
As nicely as these may sound, these are not easy changes. But are possible when you do them in God, when you understand that agape means loving the unlovable unconditionally.
Rita took up the challenge, made these drastic changes and within one week her testimony was different. Her husband has never been as happy, calm and loving as she sees him now. He’s told her to go search for another job and he’s going to do same. He suddenly seems to have brilliant business ideas too. They even now pray and plan together.
Rita is grateful to God and to the TWGO Team for intervening in her situation.
Praise God!
