Christian LivingManaging Difficult Relationships
Ever felt like people just don’t like you and you don’t know why?
A few years ago, one of the Directors I worked with, called me to advice that I needed to spend a lot of time praying for myself as he perceived that so many people didn’t like me so much.
That is a prayer that never happened.
If somebody that is supposed to report to you, asks you to help him write and submit his team report (to yourself) simply because you both once worked together on the same level, hatred won’t be far when you say no.
If you get into a new position/role and decide to do things the right way, not the usual way, it is futile trying to pray to be loved, prepare to be hated (at least initially, until they can feel and see the love of Christ in you).
John 15: 18-19 isn’t a new scripture to me but as I read it again this time, I was shocked at how much hatred Jesus experienced while on earth.
“If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” John 15:18-19 NKJV
And I ask why?
Why hate a man who came to die for your sins?
Because when you stand out from the crowd, you unknowingly arrogate to yourself some level of superiority.
People hate that!
And as we see in John 7:7, you cannot expect to be loved by a group you’ve clearly dissociated yourself from. So if you choose integrity over mediocrity, it’s likely that a lot of hatred might be waiting for you. The only reason the world hated Jesus according to John 7:7 is because Jesus testified of its evil works.
“The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me because I testify of it that its works are evil.“ John 7:7 NKJV.
I know there are a lot of ‘Pharisees and Sadducees‘ in Christianity today, people who preach and teach about a lifestyle that is alien to them, living different from what they admonish others to do, but Jesus was nothing like that. If Jesus saw evil in the world’s way of doing things, then He must have adjudged Himself holy (not a part of this evil).
People don’t want a lot of ‘holier than thou‘ attitude around them. Not even when you’re a Jesus! (Shepherd, Saviour, God-Man). Naaa
I had a colleague once, we shared office room, who i’d summarize as ‘being unsteady’. Everything anybody did was fine, as long as it bore no personal negative implication. Now, that may not be a bad thing if you want to avoid trouble sometimes, but ‘hello!’ not as a lifestyle. There are times to just rock the boat. Personally, I am uncomfortable seeking counsel or advice from someone who’s ‘unsteady in his ways’ and that is because, I won’t be sure when you’re saying the truth. I’d rather learn to correct ‘in love’ than not correct at all for fear of losing friendship.
One of the things I’ve learnt walking with God, is that you don’t have to do anything bad or terrible to be hated, sometimes, people are fighting their own demons. Jealousy, strife and envy always usher in hatred and most times (not all the time), you have little or no control over how people feel.
So I don’t pray to be loved by anyone (except by my husband, and that He’d love God too), but in wisdom I’ve learnt to show God’s love to all (haters and lovers), even more towards haters, so that maybe the love of God exuding from me may cancel out their hatred and draw them towards God. 🙂 I constantly pray, that my words and actions would always convey the love of Christ in me.
Giving back hatred is never an option. Jesus still loved and died for a world that hated him deeply without a cause.
