Held a one-agenda brief meeting with one of my staff. All I wanted was a feedback on his perception about me.

Needless to say that this was a very exciting meeting….

I chose this particular staff for this task because he is eloquent, focused (most times) and fearless (almost to a fault!).  He wasted no time in reeling out the areas of my life he considered inconsistent with his preconceived notions about how a boss should behave.

I was all ears….

He said ‘people’ think I am snobbish, controlling and arrogant! He quickly added that he does not necessarily share their perception of me because he thinks I am nice! Hmmm….  Amazing! Smart guy.I looked at him in awe. I thanked him profusely for the feedback.

Of the three issues he mentioned, only one was coming to me new; being arrogant! Throughout my university days and years beyond, my ears ‘leaked’ with talks of me presenting a snobbish appearance. The interesting part though is that I always received this feedback after sharing pleasant moments with the complainants, who always quickly added that I am a lot nicer close up than from afar. I’d usually just smile.  Then I’ll most times share with them how I spent months before my wedding practicing how to keep a smiling face. All my wedding photos came out with most of all of my 32 showing!

The issue of being controlling, I explained to my staff is a common and recurring decimal with people of excellence (*wink). Perfectionists tend to be controlling and most times end up micro managing people. I was not oblivious of my weakness in this area and I trust that the Holy Spirit is working on me. Amen.  One way he can help me become less controlling would be to always give every task the importance and urgency it demands/deserves, trying as much as possible to put distractions at bay  🙂

As I got home later that day, I narrated this meeting to my husband and asked if he’d describe me as arrogant? He responded with another question; ‘what is the difference between being snobbish and arrogant?’….

I spent the days that followed meditating on the outcome of my meeting with this young lad and on my husband’s response.The more I thought about their feedback, the more I wanted to burst out in laughter. Yes laughter, because these people don’t really know me. Looks can be deceptive… A few things I know about myself include that I am God fearing, sincere, and have integrity (being fair and just in all situations by God’s grace). I am true to myself.

But is life all about our perceptions about ourselves? Is there no room for what other people think about us?

I find that not many people are bold enough to tell others exactly what they think about them. I am learning to become one of such people! But I cannot promise to spare you if you share a very close relationship with me. My friends will always say; ‘when you want the truth, call Grace’. That’s something I am not very convinced I should let go of just like that… 🙂

Through my thinking sessions on these 3 issues recounted to me by my staff, the Holy Spirit reminded of Jesus’ question to his disciples at some point in His ministry;

“Whom do men say that I the Son of man am?”  (Matthew 16:13) KJV.

We may not go about asking everyone we meet what they think about us. But a good, sincere and genuine feedback can be a pointer to areas of weaknesses that we can partner with the Holy Spirit for improvement.

Hope you find that one person you can confidently listen to. But more importantly, hope you find your ‘Simon’ as Jesus did, that can say among other things, that you are truly God’s child.

But no matter what people say about you, the mirror of God’s word remains the truest reflection of who you truly are.

You only have to be constantly looking into that mirror….. and your transformation into a Christ-like nature is guaranteed!

Love Always

Grace Obomanu.