Welcome back!

First, my sincere apologies for changing the title of this blog-post series from “Should a Christian man have more than one woman” to “One Eve (or more) for an Adam?”. I think the first title was too specific and I try not to use very specific and direct titles for my blog-posts.  Thank you.

We ended part 1 with questions….Many questions actually.

Is God unjust in expecting a man to be joined, committed and faithfully devoted  to only one woman having created man with an insatiable sexual appetite? Why has God commanded man against adultery? Why does He expect elders and leaders in the church to be husband of one wife? (Titus 1:6, 1 Timothy 3:12).

“Deacons must be husbands of only one wife and good managers of their children and their own households.”  1 Timothy 3:12

“..a man of unquestionable integrity, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of being immoral or rebellious.”  Titus 1:6

It would seem then that the integrity of God is being tested. What an unfair God? someone may say!

Is God unfair and impartial? The Bible tells me He’s not;

“But I know God to be impartial, just and good. The Rock! His work is perfect. For all His ways are just; a God of faithfulness without iniquity (injustice).  Just and upright is He”    Deuteronomy 32:4

“For the Lord your God is the God of gods and The Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, the awesome God who does not show partiality nor take bribe.”     Deuteronomy 10:17

I choose to believe that God is impartial. And I also know from the Bible that God does not give us a burden or yoke that we cannot bear.

From creation, God created Adam and made him an Eve. Could that suggest a ‘one man- one woman plan by God?’ Or how did Adam cope with his sexual urges? (his daughters?) ……. 🙂

I also see God talking about ‘One Flesh’ in Genesis 2:4

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.”  

God’s ‘One Flesh‘ idea is formed when 1 man joins himself in marriage to 1 woman. So what happens when 1 man joins himself with more than one woman? Does he form multiple “One fleshes”?  🙂   *this is really interesting!

Here’s what Paul thinks in 1 Corinthians 6:16

“do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, ‘the two shall be one flesh.”

Two things are coming out of this scripture for me;

1. Every time a man joins himself to a woman, ‘one flesh’ is formed. and
2. Sex is the connecting factor/link.      Therefore we can say that sex is not as ordinary as it would appear. Sex connects people much more than they know.  This should be advantageous in a marriage relationship, but outside of marriage…….?

My question to you then is; young man/woman, who have you been joining yourself to lately? Are you happy with the pockets of ‘One Fleshes’ you are making of yourself all around you? Would you want to be identified with them publicly? 🙂

I believe that God’s preference for marriage is between 1 man and 1 woman. I believe also that God delights in ‘a One Flesh’ and not many ‘pockets of One Fleshes.’  Therefore it must be that this one person has been equipped to meet your sexual needs and you his/hers.

What are your thoughts? Remember you can email them to me if you feel any discomfort commenting directly on the blog.

In part 3 we’ll look at some reasons why men would most times choose to think their sexual desires cannot be met by one woman and what help is available to them. And in part 4, I am going to deviate a bit and talk about ‘Managing Addiction to Pornography‘

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This is a new blogpost series and I already see it taking us several weeks to conclude. I find this topic to be surprisingly very controversial. Surprising for me because, coming from a premise that the topic is centered on a ‘Christian man’, I have some expectations.

Should a Christian man have more than one woman?

Let’s start from the beginning. What do we mean by ‘Have’ in this blogpost?

We are told in 1 Corinthians 7:2;

“But because of (the temptation to participate in) sexual immorality, let each man HAVE his own wife and let each woman HAVE her own husband.”

And in Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5, and Ephesians 5:31

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined (and be faithfully devoted) to his wife and they shall become one flesh.”

So “HAVE” here simply means being married, faithfully devoted and committed to one woman or man. By the way, ‘man’ as used here is not generic but specifically refers to a male human!

Somebody says; ‘Grace your references are from the Bible!’

And I say; Yes! this is a Christian Blog site 🙂 and so though we try to adopt a rounded approach to life’s issues, our final reference is the Bible. And do I love the Bible? YES indeed! 🙂

In simple terms then, the questions we are looking at providing answers to in this blogpost series are; should a christian man be married to only one woman or can he have as many wives as he chooses? Should a christian man share his commitment and devotion between 2 or more women? Should a christian man keep concubines with or without his wife’s knowledge?

Because I counsel people and also have a blog site that focuses on providing Godly perspectives to everyday real life issues, when I meet logical and analytical men, I try to engage them to get their perspective  on specific man/woman issues.

I have in recent times therefore, tried to understand why men cheat on their women. And it’s been very surprising for me, in fact almost unbelievable, that most men that I talked with (Christians and non-Christians) strongly believe that a man’s physical build and biological constitution constantly predisposes him to ‘having’ more than one woman.  This then begs the question; is this assertion true, if true,  is it exclusive to men or can women claim same for themselves?

Further questions for me though are: is God not unjust in expecting a man to be joined, committed and faithfully devoted  to  only one woman (as we see from scriptures cited above), if He created man with an insatiable sexual appetite?  And why the emphasis on keeping away from adultery having put unbridled and fierce passions and desires in a man?

If this is really true, then I say it, that God has not dealt justly with the man!

In part 2 of this blogpost series, we’ll see from the scriptures if God has given man an irrepressible and unquenchable passions and desires towards every woman.

My love always……

You have a dog, cat, talking pigeon etc for a pet or you’re considering getting one soon?

That’s fine, God considered giving animals to man as companion from the beginning. Yes, I was as surprised as you are right now, as it popped out of my Bible 🙂

Genesis 2:18 reads

“And the Lord God said, ‘It isn’t good for a man to be alone; I will make a Companion for him, a helper suited to his needs’. So the Lord God formed from the soil every kind of animal and bird, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever he called them, that was their name”.

So Adam showed his creativity in churning out beautiful names for all the animals. Doesn’t the Lion really look lionish? 🙂 I bet you responded in the positive.  Just a thought here though, which happened first?….did Adam just throw different names at different animals and they looked the part, or did their looks suggest a name to Adam? 🙂  I want to believe both, but more importantly, the animals answered the name Adam gave them (Selah). That’s what the Bible tells us.

But notice that God was watching out carefully for what Adam would name each of the animals. God wanted to see which of the animals Adam considered a companion or a help meet, which was God’s particular interest at the time.

None qualified!

So God shook His head. ‘Oh no, this didn’t work, but let me try again’. This time, God chose to use a part of the man to make him a companion.

Look at Adam’s reaction;

“This is it! Adam exclaimed. She is part of my own bone and flesh! her name is ‘woman’ because she was taken out of a man”. Genesis 2:23

God’s job was done! Eve was acceptable to Adam as companion 🙂

Isn’t it still awesome how man has remained in the business of identifying his companion himself? God ceded that right over to man (Selah). You gotta find your companion yourself young man. And being the Father that God is, He is always available to guide you. Amen.

My grandma had a cat for many years, she shared almost all her meals and drinks with it, especially fish. One awful day, Bossy, which is what she called her cat, left home and has still not returned. My grandma passed on about 4 years ago at almost 100 years. From my little Maths, Bossy must have disappeared from home in my grandma’s 70’s. Grandma later found a companion in a human male of her age group. That was sweet to watch.

I read of people willing over millions and millions of monies to pets. My take on that? Such people most likely lived a pitiable solitary purposeless life with a myopic view. What happened to all the homeless and hungry people all over the world? Money in the wrong hands!

Do have all the pets you like recognizing that God actually created them to stay around you. But recognize that they never sufficed as companions for Adam and I doubt they’ll do for you.

Get a companion today 🙂