I have often read phrases like ” forgive for your own good“… or forgive for the burden is yours so lighten up yourself” These phrases sound good and factual but I have always felt uncomfortable reading or hearing them. I used to wonder if that’s the reason God asked us to forgive those who hurt us.

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32 NKJV

Note that it says even as God in Christ forgave us…

How did God forgive us? Jesus paid the price for our sin by shedding his blood(Heb 9:22) and by faith in this sacrifice we receive forgiveness. If someone does not receive this forgiveness, he/she struggles to fellowship with God.

Now let’s transpose this with our relationship with one another; ….when a brother hurts another it is important that he forgives his brother not only for his peace of mind or good but also for the good of the one who hurt him so that real fellowship is restored. The one who hurt his brother must acknowledge the hurt and receive the forgiveness for a genuine fellowship.

Sometimes a brother makes light of a hurt and dismisses the forgiveness as unnecessary and still expects the hurt brother to “move on”…..this is not right.

In summary what I am saying is that;

1. Forgiveness is not only for the forgiver but also for the forgiven.

2. The forgiven has to acknowledge and receive forgiveness for genuine fellowship to be restored

3. It is pertinent that we let the one who has hurt us know and that we have forgiven (let’s not bottle it up and pray it will go away). It’s up to the forgiven to receive it or not.

Should christian counsellors charge for their services/ministry work? This has been a long debated topic and while I can understand that it isn’t cheap to own and run a counselling platform of any sort, here is what I eventually heard in my Spirit as I spent days thinking about whether I should have charged the young lady described above.
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A daily or regular confession of everything love represents and means according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, creates in us a consciousness of who we are, it helps reinforce our identity to us. And because word-based confessions are not mere recitations (God’s Word is Spirit and life), by our confessions we are claiming exactly who we are and rejecting anything contrary to our love nature.

Now let’s assume that you owed someone $20,000 and you couldn’t see how you’d offset that bill for the rest of your life. Now assume again, that a good Samaritan, a philanthropist, someone who has amassed a lot of wealth generously offers to pay off your debt, and does so. Suddenly you are debt-free. Is it likely that you’d go back to your previous creditor asking to remain a debtor to him? Unlikely.

A lot of Christians haven’t really understood love. A few others talk about love in the light of something they expect to receive from others. But can you imagine if every Christian thought about themselves every time 1 Corinthians 13 flashes through their mind? Christianity will be truly defined. How do you love?