Time To Bring In The Sheaves
He who goes back and forth weeping, carrying his bag of seed [for planting], Will indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.
Psalms 126:6 AMP
Tag: Grace Obomanu
Christian Living
7 Rules of Christian Counselling (for Christian Counselors & Leaders).
#1: Every Christian Counselor is functioning in a priviledge role. It is a great priviledge to have people unburden and share their deepest thoughts and concerns with you. Do not forget this and do not abuse this priviledge.
#2: Do not judge or condemn your counselee. Recognize that people seeking counsel already feel they have problems. They may simply want to share their thoughts with you, they may be seeking advice/direction or they may be in dire need of help/support to stop a bad habit. Judging and condemning may not meet these needs.
#3: Do not counsel based on your emotions, use the Bible. Celebrate bold and courageous steps/initiatives but be careful with making corrections when a Counselee has acted in an outright foolish way. This is very important, so you do not lose your Counselee. Corrections must be done in love and with an intention to make someone better, never to abuse, mock or cause disdain. No matter what you say to your Counselee, the person should leave your presence better than they came.
#4: Do not counsel based on your personal experience. For example, if you had or are having a bad marriage experience, be careful not to counsel based on your experience. Question? Should a person with a bad marriage be a Christian Counselor? Answer: I believe a Christian Counselor should be one with a reputable and admirable marriage, so people already having challenges with their marriage should not be appointed to counsel others. However, a Christian Counselor may be having a temporary challenge with his/her marriage (like every other marriage), depending on how the situation is being handled, he/she may continue as a Christian Counselor but MUST be careful to give counsel based only on the standards of the Bible.
#5: Do not share people’s issues publicly without their consent. This is a gold standard in every form of counseling. Unfortunately, it is an often flawed counseling ethic, moreso in Christian circles. Consent should be written, verbal but never ASSUMED. It is not okay to share another person’s issue in a book, a blog post, or as a sermon without their consent. Seek another way to ‘bless/correct’ your audience. This is especially important if the issue was not a very pleasant one.
Sometimes, a Counselor may be functioning in an organizational structure with superiors and supervisors, remember to explain to your Counselee that you have to escalate and assure them it is in their best interest. I have had people come to me for counseling and narrating bitter experiences of trusting someone in a revered position of authority with their issues from where it became public knowledge. As a Counselor, remember that you do not necessarily have any hold on people, you cannot force anyone to share their problems with you (irrespective of your status), so being that you’d love to support people in difficult times and you deeply yearn to do that, RESPECT people’s trust in you and respect their secrets.
#6: Follow-up every Counselee. Do not give one counsel and then forget about the person. One counseling session seldom fixes a longstanding issue. Keep in touch, it shows that you truly care (and you should truly care). Additionally, following up helps you keep tabs on progress especially if you had to pass the case on to a superior or supervisor.
#7: Keep Notes for future reference. It may be difficult remembering the details of every counseling session especially if you handle a number of them at a time. Making and keeping notes help with future referencing.
If you are a Christian Counselor reading this, I hope this helps as you operate in your area of calling 🙂
Stay blessed & Love Always.
Grace Obomanu.