Empathy is a good thing when it helps someone understand and provide an appropriate response in a given situation. However, empathy may leave someone feeling alone, unloved and uncared for.

A few days ago, a senior colleague engaged me in an interesting discussion. He thinks I am a ‘really nice person‘ but he’s concerned that I might struggle in big leadership positions in the future if I continue being so nice.    Hmmm.

My response didn’t help him at all. I tried to remind him of times (in the recent past) when I have been described as high-handed by people in our organization. I have tried being autocratic, being democratic, and I think am finding a balance. He didn’t think I’ve found any balance. In his opinion, I am tilted too much towards democratic leadership.

Reminds me of something someone said to me in my university days; ‘don’t be too sweet or you’ll be leaked out of existence’. Another person made me pull out my dictionary when she said; Grace you’re unassuming/ you have no airs’.

Not too long ago, it was my birthday, and of all the many calls and goodwill messages I received, a particular phone call did touch me deeply. A colleague called and said to me; ‘wow! you’re being celebrated everywhere.I just had to call you today. You are such a nice person and all these celebration of your birthday is simply a response to all the love and care you give out’.

I have to say that apart from my husband’s birthday message to me this year, and yes, my little 5+year old spent the night making different birthday cards for me, 🙂 , this lady’s message was God’s special gift to me. Why so?

There was a time in my life, not too long ago, when I would recite Galatians 5:22, that; “The fruit of the spirit is fully evident in my life; I have love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, gentleness and self-control”.    I so much wanted to communicate God’s love to others through my decisions, actions and interactions.

My husband tells me I have grown/matured   🙂

Yeah, I can see areas where more changes must happen in my life, but I am so glad that God’s spirit is at work in me and the fruit of the spirit is becoming evident for others to see and testify.

So I have chosen to see the positives in what my senior colleague said. I’ll continue to love and show kindness. I’ll be firm when I need to be but still do it in love. I’ll make greater progress (by the Spirit of God) in exercising self-control, patience and gentleness. But I do not want to be anything else than what God wants me to be.

I believe the word of God in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8, which says; that love conquers all things and love never fails (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8).

I can never be too nice for the Spirit.

I will be considerate, sensitive, show empathy and still be courageous, brave and confident. #Nice/Tough.